Riko

2011-07-04T23:39:00.000+08:00

Why Time Is So Short

It's been close to a month since I last posted.It was always due to the fact that I'm fighting against time.

After I came back form MT K it has always been about FYP and nothing else.I didn't get to meet up with anyone or get to go out even for one bit.This makes me sad coz I didn't get to watch X-men,green lantern and kunfu panda =(

To destress all these FYP shit I signed up for an adventure race some time back and that was how I became phoneless.There was a segment in the race where they require us to cross a river to get to the other side.

I SWEAR I zip locked my phone tight and i checked but it managed to get in.I only realized it at the end of the race.I'm now phoneless and not intending to get a new one.I told myself I won't get emotionally attatched to it,but once it was gone I couldn't live without the apps.

A part of me told me it wasn't a need it's more like it became a want.I had to tell myself to be human again and rely on myself more than technology because I do not want to be cripple by technology and rely on it like how many youngster are.
Right now, I'm happy without it because there isn't much worry.It made me more punctual and keep to my words on the time i meet people.

That's all to fill up you loop for tonight =)
Tell you more stories soon.

2011-06-14T23:22:00.000+08:00

Everytime

Coz every time I'm on my adventure marveling at nature

How I wished I could show it to you

How I wish you were here

Sunrise like no other

2011-05-29T22:16:00.000+08:00

Here & There

Been really caught up with many things and alot of procrastination.Most of the time was FYP and I hated looking at my phone because most of the smses are about FYP even the E-mails are about FYP and not just one person but each and every single member.We need to summaries what we read and the agenda about the week's meeting and the next.

Enough about school,lately I finally found time to settle down to have my chocolate fix at Max Brenner bar and tried other things on the menu.

Waffle munchies:The waffle is like any other waffle nothing special about it at all(Gelare's waffle is better!!).The toppings are nice,candied hazelnut,chocolate balls with chocolate syrup and 1 scoop of vanilla and dark chocolate ice-cream

Chocolate Granita: Not as WOW as I expected it to be coz I really expected to be really sweet and chocolaty but it was more like light chocolate milk just that you can taste that it is real chocolate

Chocolate souffle:The portion was rather small,Inside is molten hot and chocolaty just like what I expected to be and just really thick I like!!Just didn't really like the outer part because it's hard and taste slightly burnt.
BIG FISH's chocolate souffle at siglap road still wins.

Maybe the service and standard wasn't on par as the first time I went I guess...

But still Max Brenner is the place to go,I hope the service will improve next time.

I've been tight on cash as I need to save up more on trips and my attachment,which means I can't go out much and need to sacrifice my weekends for work.

As always Nurul find the most weird things from the mangroves.

We ended up boiling this guys and eating it up=).

Today was a free day for me so I decided to get some stuff that I would need for the trip next week and a really quick shopping.I only have one jeans,so I just bought another one and a grey pants.It dosen't look like it suit me though but i like it,maybe=/ .Now I got more choices to wear for Effective Presentation Module=).

Spend the day changing my bed sheet and cleaned up my desk area as it was really dusty and in a mess as I hardly spend much time there due to school.

I need you like,

Like Breath,Like Rain

2011-05-21T22:51:00.000+08:00

Misses

And that's why I smile

And suddenly you're all I need,

The reason why I smile

Take my hand

2011-05-17T23:34:00.000+08:00

Kick Start

I guess all I needed was that bit of adventure to get me going,get me motivated to school and be prepared for tomorrow.

I guess it if wasn't for today I wouldn't have that little motivation I would need when I start feeling lazy and all.

Today was my first day fishing and we decided on this last week with some of my FYP team mates.

Haslinda couldn't join us because he worked later last night and don't think she could wake up.

PANGSEH!

My brother,Roy and Hazirah ended up going.

The plan was just to fish for fun and catch crabs.Hazirah showed me how to catch those shell fish that they usually sell at hawker stalls,usually malays eat it with lemak chili padi.We just call it "chut chut" coz of the sound it makes when you eat them.Usually the top of the shell has to be broken and you suck them out to eat them, that's how the name chut chut comes about because of the sucking sound.

While we were away Roy caught a small fish I dunno wad's the name of it and so did my brother,he caught a groupa.

I was kind of impatient when it comes to fishing, but I caught a fish and it was the biggest catch of the day!

I guess it was just beginners luck.A fish caught all by myself without any help.=)

We ended the day by cooking the crabs and the fish my brother and roy caught.I saved the sea baas for my family and it was really fresh.

On a sadder note,I just came to realise that being an outdoor student, I cannot tell if a fruit is ripe yet alone identify some plants that we normally eat and I don't know how to clean a fish internal organs.What more can younger generations know where their food comes from and how to process it.

I guess they will only know that food comes from fast food chains and cans.It's even sad if they can't tell the difference between a duck and a chicken or never seen any of them in their life.

Give me a fish I'll survive for the day,

Teach me to fish I'll survive my life .

2011-05-16T20:52:00.000+08:00

What's Wrong?

There's definitely something going wrong with me,

I'm gaining weight when I have 1 meal a day,training 4 times a week.

I can't wake up like I usually do

There's no motivation to exercise by myself

Even just to read pre-readings before class.

I dislike FYP I hate the whole process of it.

How is this possible?Am I too comfortable?Too complacent?

2011-05-08T23:01:00.001+08:00

Glove Up

"I love myself even more when I'm at my lowest,

Because I fight harder that I possible could to get all the way up there.

However,

I can't stay up there for long because it makes me weak"

I'll be up on the mountain in a month's time,I'm not physically ready but I have to because I'm the expedition leader.This batch going up is not physically fit and time is really not on my side to train them in only just one month.I have to be prepared to carry more load if they can't take it,that's the worst case scenario because I don't want to carry anyone's burden.

I can't motivate myself like how I used to to run faster and train harder till I'm dead beat.Recently found out Juggernaut Fight Club and the owner is someone I knew from years back and he coached me before.It just opened and prices are cheap,I hope it beats some sense to me and makes me fitter than what I am right now.

Time to glove up & back in the ring

I'll see you in every7 days just to see the sunrise

Maybe I'm not meant to stay around

2011-05-03T00:10:00.000+08:00

That Down Period

It one of those time when you are not motivated to do anything at all,like a rest period,a lazy period.Even if you wanted to do something about it you are just too lazy and end up being a NATO (No action talk only)

It has been a week my back really hurt and it was getting more painful progressively.Yesterday and Friday was at it's climax and it hurts when i do the littlest of things like breathing,don't even talk about lying down sitting or slouching.

I still don't know the reason for it but it got better only yesterday night and today it totally disappeared.

I have a feeling it's a warning about something,I should get ready

As deep as I need you,I didn't tell you,

Before everything that matter breaks in two

I'll never ask for anyone but you..

2011-04-27T22:56:00.000+08:00

Not here,Not there

I was majorly late for sch on Tuesday and not that I stayed up late the night before or anything but just in the holiday mood plus I only have 3 days of school that makes me feel like i got longer weekends.

got up at 850am class starts at 9.15,I don't know how i could sleep that long compared to last time.

I'm really getting lazier.

The best thing is that usually my dad will just come in my room and ask me if i got school it's his was of saying "You got school today and I'm here to get you out of bed"and because my schooling days keeps changing he doesn't ask anymore,so he went off to work my brother also got no idea when i have school and my mum also thinks the same way.

reached class at about 10.30,Lucky the facilitator was a relief faci for the day but he was also the module chair of that module, not a really good first impression but he was a really fun guy and jovial person.

Lessons in CCC modules are never boring,very fun to know about body language and hand gestures.Also because I'm surrounded by many fashionable girls in my class,always feel like a notch below them because I don't wear clothes as fashionable as them,just simple and comfortable.

Recently my appetite has decreased tremendously and develop strong need for sweet things.

just the other day I didn't had anything other that tarts/pies from fruit paradise.

The pastry is really good,the fruits were fresh and sweet and the pastry base is just really light and *nice.

Just stumbled upon Max Brenner chocolate bar and it's like everything there is chocolate from appetizers to main course and dessert ALL CHOCOLATE!!!.

Shared a chocolate pizza with someone who also have a liking for dark chocolate and small appetite=)

I'll go there atleast once a month I swear

Sweet,Just Like You

2011-04-24T23:32:00.000+08:00

2 Sides

I have always wanted to be a really fun an cheery guy where I don't have this fierce face and can be totally random and friendly.

Someone you can totally be friendly honest and comfortable with just by hearing me introduce myself,warm and friendly.

I can't do that....

I'm defensive,doubting and second guessing what I have to tell you and what you only need to know.Because I do not want trouble and I want to stay safe.

The world is not what it seems to be.The things on Tv,are things they want you to see and hear.Those news, are things they want you to know.

Why?because people higher wants control.People with power want nothing else but power.

We are paying PUB for utilities,when we have so much sunlight.
Have you heard about telsa?I bet not because they hide these from us because they don't want us to know more and have more power even if our intentions are good.
Don't be fooled by the education system.Being educated is not just being in school.

It's choosing your facts and knowledge.

Can start finding out about tesla and you'll see what else the world is hiding form you.

I hope I'm ready when the world ends

2011-04-18T23:30:00.001+08:00

Tell Me What Do You See?

I see two of me,One is me the other is what I am suppose to be...

I'm alot less busier now thanks to school.Today I started with Effective Presentation Skills,it's a CCC module(Centre for cultural communication(it's so called rp's mass comm))The number of girl outnumber guys.Out of 25 there was like only 7 guys I felt rather nervous as they look like they were really good with words and polished english and looked more atas.They really know how to dress up and I really felt under dressed today,I was only wearing shorts and long sleeves with shoes.

They wore like nice flats and dresses very good fashion sense type of clothes and the guys too!They look really artsy fartsy thought and wore like those expensive leather brown shoes which I will never wear coz it looks nicer on other people than on me.

They were generally ok people friendly and not shy to talk and I'm like only spending a day with them in a week.

This semester I only got 3 days of school and it's kind of complicated to explain.My off days are on wed and fri but it will change though which means that my schooling days will change too due to the public holidays.

You might be thinking "so what?what does public holiday got to do with changing of school days?"

When there is a holiday the modules will be pushed forward by a day by making it so it is already complicated to remember which day you are having what.

Being RP they had to make wednesday a day where nomatter what happens that day will remain the same module.It is like a balance,it is like The start of the week starts on wed instead of monday.Rp just have to make thing more complicated than it already is I still haven't found the logical reason behind it though.

I've been spending my time a lot more with family and them bringing me around despite the little time I have with them.

Went to Prego for lunch before work.
I worked at an event by Timbre ROck and roots which i have no interest in any of the bands or the music I just needed cash fast.

The even management there was totally bullshit.Messy and disorganized than I was really pissed off but just have to bear with them as it is only for 2 days.
I don't know who the hell Bob dylan is but many fans came down just to see him perform

BUT

There is something really really stupid about him.Fans paid like $200 just to watch him perform and he says he will not perform if he is on the screen(If you are too far away there is the Big screen to zoom to the singer).

He wanted it swich off if not he will not perform.

I was like ok,you must be that good but Micheal Jackson doesn't do that...

HIS PERFORMANCE SUCKED!!!! I can't understand what was he mumbling and...

Just can't describe how arrogant Caucasians are,I really do hate them.

There were really bad reviews about the event,I got my money so I can't be bothered any more

Saga seed,

Sand in my feet,

Sunset,

You & Me

Those 3 words I long to hear

2011-04-13T23:49:00.000+08:00

Cash Flow

It's the last week of holidays before school starts again and I have spent the the last 2 weeks of my holiday away from expeditions and camps and just hanging out with friends.

That also came with a price, like literally.

You tend to spend money when you go out, so yea.That's where all my money gone to I was struggling to get through my last week of the holidays and luckily i found 20 bucks to last me till end of the week, it was from grand ma she gave it to me every time she visited.

I have spend most of my money on the camera housing for the dive trip.

I dislike withdrawing from the bank though i know i have cash inside or taking from my saving from the previous month.I just like to fix an amount to spend on in a month.

Today helped out Asian detours to pack tents before the next camp they will be doing just to get some cash out of the day.

At the end of the day they paid me everything in cash for those days i did kayaking for them.YAY.Should be more than enough to cover for the week.

Got another credit card from dad.I don't know why but I won't even need it.

I guess that's why he even sign me a supplementary card

POSB also send me another card to replace my existing card as it has more perks and such.

Happy 3 friends...

It's only just a dream

2011-04-05T23:11:00.000+08:00

Sun,Sand,Sea

Finally!Advance open water diver certified,the 2nd level of certification I'm gonna stop when I'm a dive master the 4 stage of diving.Well, it's kinda hard to say at wad stage coz there are many diverse routes.I have to clock in 60 dives before i become Dive master.

Dive trip was great lots of laughs with the DOAL guys and some catch up with sec sch mates.Cheryln and Xuwen went as well and thanks to lynn who help us hook up with SIM dive club so that we could get it at good price and certification.

I love seeing friends do something I love and share the interest with them,seeing them grow and learning new things make me happy and raise awareness around about what is happening to the reefs and ocean.

Gary from a non swimmer to can swim to a diver now.

I hope that we would all learn to take a step out of our comfort zone and do something that we always wanted to do or wished we could have done.

A day after the trip we had a DOAL buffet dinner at Sakura ,Heeren a orchard.The spread is wider and better than downtown east's.

This dinner was suppose to be a farewell dinner for those going for Outward bound Hong Kong and Taiwan in the first semester but due to the tsunami and a recent decision made by the school they will be joining those in the 2nd semester for attachment.

So, this dinner was just for fun.

Tiny got bullied the entire time from playing with her hair to secretly putting wasabi into her durian puffs.
It's fun bullying this cheerleader!=D

I hope my school days never ends

2011-04-01T00:01:00.000+08:00

86,400

The rest of them are most probably on their way to the island by now.It was suppose to be an all boys island getaway,getaway from the world and away from their girlfriend.Someone tagged along too coz she wants a break from her boyfriend.Accompanying her will be jess her classmate.

I was suppose to be on the trip with them coz i bought a ticket too and i couldn't make it so regina found a friend willing to take over my place.

Happened to be someone I knew, Someone from NCC before in a neighboring sec sch.

Happens to be regina's primary sch friend and someone I often see around in my NCC days.A DOAL student.Atleast My cost for the trip will be covered.

Thank you,FaTINI!!

Tomorrow I'll be off on my Dive trip and I just bought this new housing for taking pics underwater. =)

...

What would you do if you are given $86,400 to spend in a day?

At the end of the day I'm going to take whatever remains back.

How you spend it is up to you.

I'm sure you would want to spend as much as you can and not leave a single cent.

What if I told you we are given 86,400 everyday?

60 secx60 minx 24 hrs=86400 sec/day

What productive things we do for the day is how much we spend it on.

What ever time we have wasted is money not spent and will be taken back just like how everyday works.

The soft sand between my feet

The sunset,

The breeze,

The crashing of the waves,

The feet in my sand

Was a day well spent

With you in my hands

2011-03-27T23:13:00.000+08:00

Was Suppose To...

Let's just say suppose is another maybe.

Like how we are suppose to meet but we didn't

Like how it wasn't suppose to rain

Like how it could have been a happy day till suppose came along.

After a week or so more of rest and recovery I'll be off on friday for my Advance diving course.

Initially I had other plans and was suppose to go out with these bunch of people for a holiday of our own.

I had to let this one go and give up my space to someone else and sell my ticket.

It was really hard to find at first but eventually found a buyer who was willing to pay.

Happened to be someone from my course, a senior and a friend whom I knew.

Thank you Fatini, now I can cover the cost of the dive trip.

Let me venture, and let's not stop

2011-03-27T00:43:00.000+08:00

Too Much To Update

I know it's been sometime since i last posted and the last was before I went on for the camp I did for Green dale Sec and Dive Expedition.

Some pictures from the Doal Kayak Expedition that was from my Iphone.

Hammocks are new found things to sleep on.You can wrap yourself when you feel cold and also a mosquito net and a nice feeling of being off the ground.

Just that you need a really good shelter.

Greendale Sec camp wasn't much of fun to me as I have little interaction with students as the way Asian Detours run it is totally different from how I am normally exposed to.

It is more activity based which means there is no group leaders at all.

Camp chief= bring kids to the location of activity

Activity leader= conduct activity and pass back to camp chief.

Super straight forward and not so my kind of camp but the cash is good.

There was one night where it rained really heavily and our shower area and campsite is really far we had to wait fro the rain to die down a little before we made our way back.

It was super cold that we made hot instant noodles and mushroom campbell soup with buns before we hit the bed.

Hammocks again were our best friend =)

That was about it for Greendale sec camp.

The next day was my younger brother's 16th birthday and it was more of a dinner than a celebration and parties.In my family we either don't know how to celebrate birthdays or we just don't have the feeling of celebrating birthday.

Had dinner at Windows By The Park.

Been there for quite a few years now, the spread is not that wide the food was averagely good and service has gone down alot and keeps dropping every year. =(

After dinner dad brought us to a pub some where really high at the top of UOB building, Altitude.

Classy place more for drinking and chilling out, view is awesome!higher than MBS sky park and pinnacle at duxton.

Before I set off on my last expedition for the month,Dive IG expedition.I had a day to play with and decide to catch up with Naqia and the other 2 ladies.

It was a whole day of eating and listening to each other's stories over food.

It's always hard to get a picture of naqia and my hp went flat that day, so didn't really took much photos and was really good time spent.

I guess the time was still not enough for us all.

There wasn't any pictures for Dive camp because I didn't bring a camera along=(.

I'll end off here and there will be update tomorrow.

Everything's been happening so fast and this is one of those times where i really need to pen it down before I forget these moments.

For a moment,It went silent

2011-03-14T21:24:00.000+08:00

Tuesday comes,

I'll be gone...

It been really some time since I wrote here.I've been gone for expeditions and it all happens to be on Tuesdays.

March have been an awfully busy month for me and had to keep up with people and things.

I have to sacrifice training,meet ups and many other things that I want that clashes.

The first one was the kayak expedition,this is my 2nd time having a kayak expedition with RP.Really enjoyed my time and it was a lot more about environmental education.really had fun and being able to lead the expedition.Yes the planning for this was tough but it was all totally worth it.

I just got back from my 2nd disappearance which is a camp for Asian Detours,they were the ones who supported us with the power boats for the expeditions so I end up working for them the following week.

I know i said that I would not do a camp ever again but this time it's for the money seriously in need of it and they pay damn high.Highest among all the other places I have worked at.

Sadly there was no pictures about the camp,though I do not really like the concept of the camp they do but ouh well,they are willing to take me in to conduct kayak courses =).More cash to come

Tomorrow I will be off on an expedition for RP and it will be at P.Ubin.It's like becoming my home already for the past 3 weeks we have been going there.Also it is the last place in Singapore that is not developed,yet.

There have been so many thing I wish to say about my journey but I think words alone are not able to complete it.

It's just a mental picture that I will be able to see it again when my life ends.

Everything all over again...

2011-02-26T22:31:00.001+08:00

Counting Down The Days,

Till I See You...

Since the start of holidays on monday everything went really fast.

DOAL chalet-Done!

Everyday is either training or catching up with people.

This month is a crazy month for me,I'll be around for a while then I'll disappear then back agian.

Nxt week I'll be on kayak expedition.

the following week will be doing a camp at Bintan

The following week after the following week is land expedition with the dive people,competition will be the following 2 days after.

That leaves me with the last week of march with no plans yet =).

So, I might feel like buying a ticket and travel overseas.

Brother made me a hand made gift and he was really creative and know that I really love boxes be it wooden or metal.

I can't show you what's inside coz it's not suppose to be sold anywhere.It's a special knife engraved my name.

Thank you brother!

Though I will be disappearing here and there it makes me want to see you every chance I got

There are days in between where I'm free and not know what to do,

I'm counting down to the day where I will see you.

Because I miss you too...

2011-02-17T23:48:00.000+08:00

As Sweet As It Gets

Since Strictly Pancakes was full on valentine's day it self coz it only opens at 6pm on mondays(How i wish i knew why)

I made reservations the next day to bring valentine there for dessert=).

Been there a few times,nice cozy place with really nice ambiance and really nice place to chillax.

Service is good waitress are friendly and Pancakes, the best you ever tasted!

I know it sounds weird but there's beef pancakes and it's really good not those cheepo beef patties it's really like home made minced beef patties.

Many people recommend garlic butter prawn pancakes but yet to try them out.

The other one, I can't remember the name but it's pancake spread with nutella in between served with ice-cream with vanilla sauce and kinda bueno.Really nice for hazelnut lovers!

This one is my favourite,The Druggie!

The moment I tried it i fell in love with it!

3warm chocolate pancake with chocolate grated flakes,chocolate sauce and dark chocolate ice-cream and chunks of strawberry.Not really a fan of strawberry but it was really sweet and good!

Had this with Valentine and yes,she loved it too!

The expressions were the same whenever people tried this,seriously it is that good!

It's UT week and I have been going out like I don't have test liddat but I really can manage my studies and I'll try to be at home more often whenever I can.

I'm not really a watch person but this watch caught my eye and not wanting to let go.

Why I fall in love with this watch?

All G-shock watch can withstand depths of 200m underwater(Who the hell wants to go so deep?)

This model records dive,has a moon and tide graph

Functions for a water baby like me

Too bad they don't have this colour in Singapore =(

2PAPERS TO GO!!!

Letters To You

2011-02-16T23:28:00.000+08:00

Will You Go Out With Me?

Ut week eventually found it's way on Valentine's and I was dating Adventure Education.That paper was hard =(.

I really studied for it but things that I overlooked came out in the test.It's open book test how could I have overlooked it?

Yes the flowers were for someone,My Valentine.

I know that I'll be having papers the next day but I don't want to go home early and study.Just wan to go out and have ice-cream on a freaking hot day.

Finally got to Island Creamery after wanting to go there for like a year plus.I tried the mudpie and 3 scoops Ice cream(Apple Pie,Pineapple tart and reverso!!=)).

Was suppose to go Strictly Pancakes but tables were all full that day.

Ended up going marina barrage late evening just to spend some time with Valentine.

That was all for Valentine's

It was the best Valentine's day EVER!!

You in that dress took my breath away,

Stole many kisses that day

How could I not resist you soft lips nice waist

2011-02-13T16:02:00.000+08:00

Baby Please Don't Go..

Have not been updating my post due to a few reasons.It is either i reach home feeling

-Tired/Sleepy

-Can't think of anything to write

-Too filled with activities

The first week of Feburary was really much in class as it was all on planning of expeditions and events so there was nothing much other than disturbing each other in class.

So now I'm gonna share what's been happening for the past few days.

Tuesday

The final week of school and it was more relaxed and fun.

Like how many parents complain how poly students dress up like they are going beach and that was how we dressed up like for that day.

It wasn't much of a lesson but a mini expedition along East Coast Beach and just had fun as a class together since it was the last week of school.

Like sponsored only!

Now it's your turn to ride us!!

I really love water based lessons

Wednesday

Nothing really much happend,just went around window shop because I didn't want to go home early and spend some time with my friends.Brought them somewhere really nice and that's where I'm gonna bring my Valentine's so, I can't post it here yet.

Best part of that day was in the morning =)

Thursday

Lessons was out on P.Ubin and I forgot to bring my camera-_-.

Went over to Tampinese 1 for dinner and my dad kept telling me to get a credit card since last week but I kept telling that there was no need and don't like paying in credit.

Paying in credit is like borrowing money from your friends and paying back to them.

I never like the idea of credit payment and this is how youngsters get into debt as they like to show off how many cards they have and signing them off freely to impress their friends that they can spend.

Though I didn't want it look like my dad forced me to get one just in case I needed it and told me to get a birthday present for myself.Which I felt really......no meaning...

I know it's a nice thing to do but,it looks like there is no sentimental value in it.

Friday

Health and wellness was boring and this week was essay week for me and I didn't intend to do it at all because I was to lazy too and we visited Elfy in the hospital.

He suffered from high fever for 2 weeks and might not be able to sit for UT3.

Luckily SAF covers for him.Yup, Elfy is a Soldier in army and is offered a scheme to study Outdoors Adventure Learning in RP.

After visiting him we went to the new mall in Serangoon ,NEX, but can't take any pictures because my phone went flat.

Saturday

Had training as usual and coach wans't happy with our time trial yesterday and made us go another round.

It was actually suppose to be one round for everyone and training's over but the senior's timing wasn't good at all.It was worst or as close as the junior's(Us) timing .

Atleast we know we are improving =).

Headed home,get changed and went over to Ray's house for his birthday at Bukit gombak(that's like the other side of the world!!)

I knew we could take a bus there but I remembered seeing this quarry like rock face thingy and deicide to walk to him place instead along with the rest.

This little park was called Xiao Gui Ling.

Reached Ray's place and he lived up on the 29th floor,the highest floor and the view was like you get to see the overview of most of west side.

His house just like mine but higher and some how have more space to have 5 toilets and 5 rooms.4 sisters,2 parents 2 grandparents living under one roof.

We headed over to play tennis,our first time and lots of photo shoots =)

It rained when we wanted to play basket ball so we ended up going to Ray's room took turns to showed and played black jack.

I know I'm not suppose to gamble but I'm good at it and i know my limits.

Started with $1.50 ended everything with $10.50.

I gave the money to Weejie because I can't use the money.So he decided that we use the money to cab back home for the people that live in Pasir Ris.

After many rounds of black jacket dinner was ready and there was a variety of spread.

Ray's relative came too and they were amazed by us and find us interesting.

Firstly by winston's weird hair and gary's extended ear lob.

Both of them look like they belong to african tribe.

Jin Xing,Weejie and Zou Yang was engaged by the kids.

This considered the last year we are all in the school together.

Year 3 half of us are on attachment.Only till graduation we would see each other, for a short time though.

Every beginning has an end

2011-02-01T22:08:00.001+08:00

The Daily Journey,Just Like A Routine

Yesterday's journey was something different,instead of going school for lesson we headed for Pulau ubin for planing of mini expedition.It rained like crazy and non stop form the previous day.

Expected very little to come but it was surprising that a good bunch of people came despite the weather.

Lesson was on planning and then we recee the place that we wanted to use.

The quarry over flowed and really flooded the roads.

Today's journey to school was much better condition. Wasn't raining but the weather was cooling and JC students start school already which makes the bus a little more squeezy.When I boarded the bus I was searching for something but couldn't find,I decided to forget about it as I had already boarded the bus.

The journey was abit different, felt like I forgotten something.

Something about today I really need to note down.I seen how obsession affect the person and people around.The person doesn't know or realize it but it takes someone else to spot and bring them back.I don't want it to be the cause for what I am facing at home.

Please snap me back to reality if I ever fall into obsession.

Snap me back real heard that I will really wake up.

I guess it's been a habit to see you every tuesday and wednesday on the bus,where'd you go?

IMY

2011-01-31T23:10:00.000+08:00

Random,I Know

It's been raining non stop since saturday and I love the weather like this though it is hard to get around but i like this laid back feeling.

I don't perspire and I feel fresh the whole day.

After this semester end which is about 2 weeks from now I would be year 3 and there would be many things I would want to do in my final semester before I leave for Hong Kong.

With 3 schooling days there would be lots to do in my free time.

With the little money I have saved I'm gona see the world explore new things.

Get their blessings and venture to a new place, though I know I will have problems on that part.

This is what I want to do,since I'm in love with water and I can't help but being around with water.

A dream treetop house away from people away from hectic life just nature and us

I'm falling more in love with nature,I just can't describe the feeling.

To be with what nature have given you is worth more than money can ever make.

Values and lessons to be learnt.

Inspired by Pocahontas,Tarzan and Lion king along with many other Disney's film

I Hope It's Not A Dream

2011-01-29T00:23:00.002+08:00

Here & Now

I cannot remember all the things of the past,I won't know what will happen to me in the future.

What I know is that I have here and now and that's all that matters at this moment

That's the problem with having only a moment,

because you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory..

So kiss me....

2011-01-26T00:38:00.000+08:00

Everything Happens For A Reason...

Must it?

At 9,I was starting on my 600 word essay for Health and wellness module and finally got it done 30 mins before the deadline but was unable to find my saved file on my desktop.Searched everywhere just for the damn essay I really felt like throwing the laptop and go to sleep.It's not funny to do essay.I hate writing about established facts just ask me to do a presentation will do.It's pointless to do an essay on fact it like regurgitating everything I read in the 4 resource and 8 pre readings which is insanely alot about 15 pages each on average.

So, this is it.Immediate F for the day.I already got 2 F already, one was just to test out the system and the other i really forgotten to do.

I hate this module. I can't be bothered with it anymore.

Other than the stupid essay the day went well,

Our team lost the match of speed tagg in the semi-final round and was 3rd place so I couldn't get the Starbucks voucher but it was really good try and I'm sure my team had fun.

Hot dog eating competition I only manage to wolf down 2 in 1 min.I expected myself to wolf down like 5?..hahah

Ouh yah, all these fun things happening in my school is because of a module in my school that my other friends in another course is taking.

It's a part of their lesson to raise funds for needy students in RP.So, you get to see people selling yummy goodies like donuts,pizza,macroons and even little evens just for charity.

The choices we make it life is not necessarily the choice we wanted or what other thought you wanted.

There's always a war within asking yourself if you had made a right decision

Why &why not...

Somethings are just the way it is,It cannot be questioned.

There is no answer to it....Must everything have an answer?

2011-01-16T23:36:00.000+08:00

You Try To Say....

No one can change a person, but some one can be a reason for a person to change- Spongebob
I know it sounds weird coming from a cartoon,but it really made sense.

I looked away, then I looked back at you...

2011-01-13T23:09:00.000+08:00

How Will You Know

You love someone and open yourself up to them.

It's letting them know your weakness and allowing them rip you up,but trusting that they won't.

The sad truth is,

Maybe they'll break your heart,maybe you'll beak theirs and never be able to look at yourself in the same way.

Those are the risk.

That's the burden of falling in love.

Like wings they have weight,we feel that weight on our backs,but they are burden that lifts us.

Burdens which allows us to fly..

I defy whatever others say or tell me

2011-01-09T22:38:00.000+08:00

A Promise In Ink

Today I could not compete,but I know I could and the burning desire to.

I was stripped the opportunity to do so..

I though for a while for a week should I quite this team because everything goes against me?

I came back to prove people wrong.Not for the medals,I just wan the experience.If I ever get a medal I will throw it in the reservoir.

I don't need medals to measure how good I am,I just need to know how good I am.

I have decided to stay.

Beat everyone in my team.

Though I know I would be at a huge disadvantage with attachment coming.

To keep to this promise,I decided not to sell the life jacket but to mark it with a quote.

"Nothing Last Forever"

You may be fast now,not in 3 months time.

You can be fast beside me, but for how long?

I hold these 3 words dearly, I will prove it in 2011POLITE.

For everything has a beginning it must come to an end

Do it even if it cost me my life

2011-01-04T21:44:00.000+08:00

I Dare Say, I Dare Do

The start of the new years immediately started with many ups and downs.

I am able to control the outcome of the situation I am in and since it is the start of a brand new year this is ME taking control.

I know and understand fully the consequences of my actions so do not tell me to reflect.

Before I left for 21 days I sent a mail to both my coach,adivisor for my IG and my captain that I will be absent from training for a month and will be back to train for the upcoming competition.

But I only knew that I was not registered for the race only 2 days back which registration is already closed.I have been training ever since I returned and no one said anything about it.

I'm not really angry about that part.The part that really pisses me off is people making assumptions.

While I was away, people spread the word that I quit the team and they did not register me for the race.

Enough of me having to talk so much.I decided to just put up on FB the print screen and let the picture tell those thousand words as said.

True enough it stir alot of questions from friends and other IG.

It makes my captain look bad in front of everyone in the cyber world.

Sorry, this is for you being irresponsible and honestly one of the worst leadership I ever seen in my life other than this incident.

This is me taking control.

Went to JB with my friends the other day just before school started and just enjoying the company after being in 21 days away from civilization.

Eventually got home at midnight when I was suppose to be back at 8 or 9pm all thank to the jam.

Yup, i got scolded but just brushed it off that night because I can't be bothered already.

I'm 19 and still a little tied down.

This is one of the reasons why I went for OBS and I wan my attachment in Hong Kong.

Ouh well, the more they are going to do this all the more I should start rebelling =)

My faci quote something I shared in class in the RJ and it was about linking doors as metaphors to different stages of life.At the end of the RJ had my Name!!! hehe happy much.

1st update for the New Year and many more to come =)

I decide what's good for me

2010-12-26T23:09:00.000+08:00

A Journey Outside,for the Inside...

The journey of 21 days have make me understand what I have learn in lessons in real life and how people react to situations,types of leadership, ethics and philosophy.

Unfavorable situations and different opinions stir up many disputes we had along the way and had to give in at times or like I would usually do is let them have it their way and let them make the mistake so that hopefully they will learn from it.

Being back to the real world has made me appreciate simple things like fresh clean clothes we have.Over there we won't know how long the sun will be up until it rains again and having dried clothes never felt so good.

Music never sound sweeter

& never thought that you would tell people around you, you really missed them.

Now that I'm back there are things to settle like my upcoming test when sch reopens

enjoy myself for a little while before everything starts back with some retail therapy.

Some catching up with friends.

A little surprise for my guardian angel who have been putting a smile on my face =)

Back to training, to my newly assigned boat by my coach and I'm loving the colour and feel of the boat already.

I Miss You More Than Words Can Ever Say

2010-11-30T23:41:00.000+08:00

Last Day

All my bags are packed I'm ready to go

I' standing here outside your door

I hate to wake you up to say good bye

So, kiss me and smile for me tell me that you'll wait for me

hold me like you'll never let me go

I'm leaving on a jet plane don't know when I'll be back again

Scent of summer swing

2010-11-29T00:01:00.000+08:00

Down To My Last Weekend

Woke up in the morning and was gonna be late for training and ended up cabbing down which i didn't really mind coz I couldn't be bothered taking the bus and seriously I was still half way there when I woke up.

Had fun paddling and went back home to prepare for the picnic at marina barrage with class.

In the end not everyone turned up=(.They pulled out last minute but at least we had fun and I bet they would be jealous with all the fun we had though it is just a small group of us.

Everybody went pot luck and we had a variety of food which really felt like a picnic.No rush just chill and enjoy the weekend talked about other things than studies ,ahhh there goes my last weekend.

Winston brought halal beer,hahah.There's just no alcohol in it luh

It was my first time playing kite and it wasn't as fun as I though it was because I usually see people running around just to get the kite up but the wind was strong there that we didn't have to run just throw it up and it was in the air already.It wasn't much of a challenge but it feels good having the line in your hand.

Night shots are irritating to take,especially at night but not for us.

Turn a set back for me into one of my strengths.

I'm sure everyone there was wondering what the hell were we doing and it turned out funny and animated.

I really had an enjoyable weekend,Thank you

Time is up

2010-11-27T23:02:00.002+08:00

There Goes My Last Week

My final week of freedom is gone firstly, my parents are back just now.So, no free roaming and procrastinating waking ups.

This is also the last week for me to treasure my last few days in the comfort of my bed and my usual daily routine and people around me.

I feel that being away for close to a month is a good break for me as around this period,week 7,8,9 are the very "sian" moments in the semester.I'm glad to avoid this period and start fresh in the new year and catch up on studies.

I finally got my bottle replaced for a newer nalgene though I don't really like the colour I still like nalgene's hardy bottles.I still miss my red nalgene=(.

Got the dri fast towel and dri bag at a warehouse clearance sale opposite my school at a really knock off price along with the nalgene.

Newly bough mares rash guard for less than $50.Usually rash guards are like 80-100++.

Finally got to spend some of my saved cash on things I would need for my adventure.

Bought for brother chalk for climbing and he bought me chocolates from China which was ridiculously cheap.1 Reeses big cup- $0.50.I got 5 hahah.

My last week went well. In fact it got better and better.I was rather sickish and too weak to even get myself up my bed room that I spend almost the whole day on the couch having spent my day in front of the big screen on FB and movies.

Legna came by and bough me dinner the next day and took real good care of me which eventually made me felt better over the next few days.=)

On my free day I didn't have to eat dinner alone,someone cooked for me which I felt was really sweet .

Tomorrow,I'm going for my last training before I really miss canoe.

I don't want to do anything,

just want to sit and stare at you

2010-11-20T02:53:00.000+08:00

I Built These Wall,Just So I Won't Fall

Over the years,I realized you can't trust anyone totally.

I made the mistake of trusting people around me that if i did good they would do so too, or I though they would.

I was only setting up disappointment for myself without realizing.

Everyone have fears,Some may give up and let fear take control.

I cannot let be seen at my weakest, my breaking point.

Because once your broken, you can never be fully fixed.

That's why you never see me shed a tear.

2010-11-16T00:20:00.000+08:00

Because I'm Used To It

You said Good Morning &

end it with a Good Night that itself make me smile

Lately,on my way to school I turn my head facing at the back of the bus just hoping you would be there sleeping soundly at your favourite spot,because I got used to it

Everyday I fight the urge to text you or call you,

Telling myself that if you'd wanted to talk to me, you would.

So, everyday I'd wait where you most likely be...

I wouldn't mind walking through the cold night with you

2010-11-14T22:33:00.000+08:00

Tippsy

Having not sleeping for 2 days is a mental discomfort and the feeling of confusion is just totally random.

It's as like you in screen saver mode.You were were doing something then_______.Then finding out what you were suppose to do.that is the part that bring in all the confusion.The feeling is just not likable.

Spent 2 straight nights out,coz i dun like it having curfews.Just let me be eventually I won't have to stay out and make you guys worry about me.geese!!

I still went off despite feeling really tired and sleepy.I dozed off a little on the way there and tried as hard as I can to stay awake coz I hate the feeling of falling asleep and having to wake up continuing the rest of the day.

Spend the night with these bunch of people that I was with me since Primary school

Celebrated WeeYin birthday with some live band and the music at the stroke of midnight and ambiance was really great.Played many games and silly dares and truth about each other we never knew.

Got home a little tipsy i don't know why.Must have been from the previous night and didn't drink that much compared to my usual.

The feeling of being light headed is when you make any movement it feels like everything is lighter than it usually is even moving your head back and forward takes lesser effort.I was amused as there weren't many times I felt like this & started poking Wee Yin's ballons.

We split cab and had 2 ladies to send me home,I really felt like a looser.I could walk myself back home from the main road so I knew I wasn't drunk coz I never have been.

I hit the bed and slept like a baby.

Waking up in the morning never felt soo good.

I hate drinking

2010-11-13T20:09:00.000+08:00

It's Getting More Frequent

It rains very often every night lately...

Have you been crying a lot inside lately?

I've been up since friday and have yet to get sleep.After school yesterday after a tiring lesson of kayaking packed my stuff to amanda's place where I met up with Mel, Shixian and the rest.

The gathering wasn't as I expected it to be because now most of the girls got boyfriends and they brought them over so it wasn't much of friend gathering but more like...I dunno.

It's like my boyfriends can stay over and I can cuddle up to him.So, there wasn't much interaction and doing stupid things like we always do.

I'm blogging now just to wait for the rain to die down a little and waiting for a big family dinner with relatives.Since my family are leaving for China on Mon and won't be able to celebrate Ah Ma Birthday.So, we celebrate it in advance and also cause my cousin who just finished her Olevels is heading for Hong Kong on Monday too.

After this dinner I'm heading down to town with my primary school friends at some pub to celebrate WeeYin's 19th Birthday.

I guess I'll be missing 2 days of sleep already.

It's not really tiring but it feels damn sucky when I accidentally feel like sleeping and it makes me feel disorientated and in a confusion like not knowing what is happening.

After one of my lessons, on my way home I stumble upon this application which has this damn cool picture editing and still new to it.This was my first work done on Colour Blast

Still a lot more to explore and learn.Picture editing is much easier on an Iphone and can say idiot proof.

This must be one of the earliest I ever blogged just to keep myself awake and something for me to do while waiting to fill my rumbling tummy.

Hurry cuz!!I'm hungry!

I'll make you smile ok? =)

2010-11-11T23:46:00.000+08:00

Wanted to blog but the uploading spoilt my mood
Have been trying since 9.
I'm off to bed
~angry uh

#@#$@%$#

2010-11-09T23:23:00.000+08:00

Start Of My Rebellion

You have both taught me well knowing right from wrong.

It's time that you let go of me a little more because I feel suffocated and my wrist still being held tight.

I don't want to be restrained,I want the feeling of knowing that when things is bad I can walk away from with my own decision.

I don't get that,still.

It is a constant nagg and wanting to know where I am what time do I come back.

I'm 19 let me have my reason to return home as I wish,

the same questions being asked repeatedly when I have already answered them one too many time.

The more I've been questioned ,the more I feel like lying

The more I'm being told about the same things, I feel like rebelling and not telling.

Some of the reasons why I can never stay home the whole day

is because I don't want to be told,I don't want to be asked.

I just want to roam at my free will of having you taught me right from wrong and see the world from my eyes.

When I know it means I really know

2010-11-08T23:33:00.000+08:00

To Be Waking Up Dreaming

When we are done in this world they say we would go to the next because our body is just a shell our souls will go to a better place....

Do we start on a fresh new page and forgot what had happened in the previous life...

or could we remember the people that played a part in our lives...

I can tell you it sucks having the feeling of not remembering how someone had play a big part in your life and not remembering it, neither do they....

There are people in life you learn to live with,

People you know you can't live without....

& People you know life wouldn't be the same without

11:11 I wish you knew how it feels

2010-11-05T23:30:00.000+08:00

1 Chance Take It,Coz I Know It Won't Last

Thing have been going well for me this semester, the classroom is once again by the window,classmates aren't too aggressive and competitive with grades and have to get used to being tease and tease others back =).

I feel that this would be the best ever class I'm going to have in my Poly life,Week 4 is over and 11 weeks to go till year 3.

I don't think by then there would all the outdoor students be in school together due to attachment,some would be in for the 1st sem some would be in for the 2nd.

The pace of life gets faster and faster at this age.there's so much more to do and see.Soon it will be out to the real world.

Last week lesson have been really great! Get to play and explore many things about ourselves through challenge course and work with each other at the same time have fun in lessons and bonding over meal times.

Having so much fun I have been missing lots of training and i don't regret it though I know my strength has gone down drastically and gotten slower over time.Let's just say now's just not my time to shine.

After my 3 years in Rp I would want to achieve more than just sports medals.Sports is just not my thing.

It feels like a dream,so please don't wake me up

The False Pretense I Gave Myself

2010-11-03T23:53:00.000+08:00

When The Petals Drop & Music Stops

A class mate of mine passed away in the recent event.It's all over news by now and the attackers have been caught.Yesterday at the wake, though I may not be close to him and as much as I did not like him during secondary school I still went to pay my respect as a human being.

It was a really sad moment for everyone over his death as he was young and too sudden.

Many loyang students came to pay respect though they were not close to him and there was more than 200 people that night.

I could really feel the pain his family are going through,it just sad to die at a young age.

In my mind I always wondered what is it like on the other world.Would we still be able to remember our friends and family in this life?Or would our memory be wiped clean?

What would our last moment be before I leave this world?

Would I be able to tell everyone the things I needed to say before I leave?

I would always want to know how would you remember me as when I'm really gone..

2010-10-26T23:11:00.000+08:00

I See With My Ears

I only happen to see 11:11 at night & I wonder why

I just suck at looking around to find things when it is just in front of my face especially things at home.

I don't even know where half of where things are in my own house. Simple things like a pen or scotch tape is like so hard to find.

Yea, I think I should really spend more time at home just to find out where all the household stuff are at home.

My cash flow is running low and I'm bored with my job on the 4th day,this is not good!!=(

I only know you are around me when I feel deaf in one ear, as though you are beside me whispering.

Like how one of my senses is taken away for a moment,knowing that it would come back.

I guess the best way to describe is like you covering my eyes from behind and knowing it is you.

Didn't want to disturb your sleep

2010-10-25T21:47:00.000+08:00

My Fears,My Friend

I wasn't much back then,looking back at what I've done I guess the fear of fearing pushed me to the edge.

I always though that fear was something that would hurt you so bad that you just have to admire it from far.

I feared,..

The dark

High places

Drowning

Loneliness

Small places

& many little nonsense.

I know I was kinda pussy.I grew up hating myself for being afraid of everything until I had enough of being confined by everything.

The dark became my light...

Heights became a friend...

Water is love...

Being alone made space for Me Myself and I...

I can't say that I'm fearless but I know that I fear-less now.

If you don't fear anything, you're just not alive

Oh Moon why are you alone tonight?

2010-10-24T23:32:00.000+08:00

Once Bitten Twice Shy

When you pull out last minute when we are suppose to meet, makes me feel like a fool

I'll have doubts asking you out the next time round

Was spending the evening with my dear primary school friends at the night safari since joanne had cheap ticket for the Halloween theme.It wasn't much of a trouble getting there coz she drove us there & seriously I though that she can't drive well because she's a really goodie girl kind and be a push over on the road but she drives AWESOMELY WELL!!!It was really comfortable and there was no sudden braking,just smooth fast ride there and back.

Met up with some of Joanne's JC friends and we through the haunted house together which was like 2 hour long que!But the wait was rather enjoyable with friends around you and the staff dressed as ghost coming to scare you from time to time.

But the walk through the haunted house was like only 5 minutes.-_-

I didn't took much photos because I forgot to change to the standard lens.The one that is use don't really capture nice night shots no matter how much i tried.Most of them are just really blur and not as sharp as it could have been.=(

We took the tram ride around the safari and the Halloween theme made the whole tram journey really exciting with ghost hiding at some places along the trails to scare us.How awesome and fun is their job!They are paid to scare us.

The weather too really fit in to the Halloween theme well as it was like about to rain and was really windy like what you would see in a horror movie.

We went through some trails which we saw more ghost than animals and before we knew it, it was like midnight and everything just started to close.Time passed awfully fast yesterday so we headed to changi village for supper before we called it a night.

Thank you my dear primary school friends =)

I guess I don't have any friend to hang out with when I have nothing on.
Maybe it was something I did or it is just me.
I'm trying hard not to go back being alone again because it is hard to share thoughts or voice out to others.=S
Still figuring out...

Hints hints hints

2010-10-18T22:50:00.000+08:00

I Guess You Were Right

I never though what you said could be true.Maybe, I could change those thoughts,then again I realized I am just one.I can't fight something like destiny which is the course of life.

Like how a candle burns over time,tall and bright at the start ,slowly it fades.

Then we light another...till it fades again

Maybe it is suppose to be....,Maybe I'm not as strong willed as before....

Around this time of year, the patterns are the same, every year just like the last,and the year before.

Just not ready to prove you wrong

2010-10-15T23:00:00.000+08:00

Looks Like It's Going Well

1st week of school and it seems like the new class has a really good mix and i feel that everyone is quite competent and able to work,so i shall score better this semester to get a chance to get to Outward Bound Hong Kong.Grades weren't that fantastic last semester,like 2.47?? can luh boleh tahan.

Lessons has been interesting much and just more awake in class.I'm not sure if it is because it's the first week but we'll see how it comes along in the coming weeks.

I feel much lighter since I didn't attend much training though training is like everyday still.I guess I found some happiness in lessons and familiar faces in class that makes lessons easier and more enjoyable.

I guess canoe just puts a lot of stress and pressure in me,it also wears me out both physically and mentally.

But sometimes i like that feeling coz it makes me feel the pain and I know that life is nothing without that much of a struggle.Most of the time I just feel lonely that's all.

Now that I'm back to being an adventurer my focus have once again changed towards study and fulfilling personal goals learn new things that I didn't have the time before to do.

From the start of my journey in the morning,

till I close my eye in bed

You have not been forgotten...

Will we stop hiding?

2010-10-09T23:15:00.003+08:00

Unwilling

I skipped training again this morning.I woke up but couldn't be bothered to rush for training and just went back to sleep and enjoyed another hour in bed.

Knowing that I'm not competing I kinda take my frustrations on canoe and just decide to do things I wouldn't do before.

I spend the day watching movies after movies and bake another batch of rainbow cupcakes with sis.

I kinda like this movie that I had watched today

I just like the settings they were acting in and feels like I want to own a farm there and have lunch in the open,stargaze at night...

Really nice Love story,Seriously take some time off to watch this

Take Me Somewhere We Can Be Alone

2010-10-08T23:32:00.000+08:00

Something Different

I decided to skip training.Just to clear whatever administration I have to do before the new semester,like dive events and upcoming certification course etc.

I decided not to go for training because I have no incentive,No goals to chase.There's no point in coming in first in training anymore because I don't get anything back.

I'm slower than before,yes.

Can say I give myself excuses all the time.

The only push factor I have is goal that I hope to achieve,pull factors are my personal vengeance which is just my ugly side.

Away with all that,today I just had this "Feeling to bake"I don't know why.Since my brother got this recipe sometime ago and we kept procrastinating due to our daily activities.

The factors today make it very conducive for us.Mum's not at home, brother finish papers in the morning.So, no one to nagg at us for making a mess in the kitchen=).

Something I found that I like doing and take this up as a hobby while I'm not competing.I will get back to paddling harder when it is really worth the effort.

Maybe you're just my shooting star

Is It Coincidence Again?

2010-10-07T23:30:00.000+08:00

Simple Things Made Complicated

If we don't like the taste of something we don't eat it

If something hurts us we avoid it

Funny just how somethings just don't follow.Like how some girls end up with short tempered jealousy boyfriend who tell what is expected of their girlfriend which most of the times are unreasonable.

Like how they can't hang out with their guy friend, a particular guy or when there is a change of plans when she can't meet up with him he just finds it unfair towards him and just starts being angry.

Like what the hell?Every one got a life and there are other friends out there than just the both of you.

Ladies,(This part I seriously don't get)Why do you still stay with someone who makes you feel like this?It's like feeling upset and arguing/quarreling just makes you complete.

Why do you still hang on?What do you get in return?

Does it make you feel the real you?

2010-10-04T00:01:00.000+08:00

Hide A Knife Behind A Smile

It so much easier to throw in to a fit of frustration just to let everyone know enough is enough and show them that's not the way to be treated.

It gets even harder to stay composed and reason with our feelings.To just show everyone that no matter what situation you put me in I'm still can stay calm.& why should I even throw my tantrums at anyone?It only shows that I lack self control of my emotions and just didn't think things through before doing anything.

No matter how bad or sucky the day was I'm still able to take it all in.

But funny how everyday can be like the day before.It's like everyone you know will have their turn to make you feel that bad on every separate occasion,which is like everyday to you.

It's like being taken advantage of yet you are not able to tell anyone because in reality,they can't help you.

They just want to listen to your rants and forget about it because it's your problem and it won't affect them.

I'm 19 and time don't seem to be slowing down anytime soon why should my friends see how miserable I feel because of obstacles I face.Just suck it in and move along.

Because Nothing Last Forever.....

It hurts & eats me from inside

2010-10-02T22:15:00.003+08:00

Take My Hands

I'm really sad to say that I had to change my hp,it had really served me well and it has gone through a lot with me compared to the other phones before.

So much memories and frequent usage of texting messages on it.It will never be the same feeling typing on the new Iphone.Yes.I got myself an Iphone 4 because my dad strongly urge me to and I wasn't too keen because it is not a flip phone and it's touch screen which I don't fancy much.I have this fetish for flip phones and it just simple and really cool compared all other types of phones.

Still need some time to get used to typing on Iphone and I'm still not over the sudden change.The feeling is like someone you lost and never coming back.I still keep in my drawer as memory.Haiz....

On the way back home the other day there was a visually impaired man singing this song which made me search on you tube when I got home.He just sang it really beautifully that I really had to find the song.

I couldn't find the original singer but there were many that sang and I personally like micheal buble's version and Andrea Bocelli.Both are my personal favorites.Ouh yah!, there is also a reggae version that I like too!

You can find the others on youtube

I can't help falling in love with you

Like It Is Not Easy To Forget

2010-10-01T00:14:00.000+08:00

1Week

It's been a week since I was given MC to really rest and get away from training.

First few days I didn't exactly follow the doctor due to me being stubborn and just challenging my body.Which just didn't do my body any good and recovery was just stalling.

Just when you thought I did enough damage I didn't do any justice by staying over for KS birthday chalet on sat and training the following day when I was suppose to be resting.

After that day I just gave in to my body and just let it rest till Saturday's training.

Right now,I'll just enjoy the time I still have when I'm free and things I wasn't able to do when I was training so hard for which ended up me not competing this year.

Went to another chalet yesterday and this time no drinking just enjoy good company of Outdoor Students and barbecued food=).

Today was just a day for me to spend a day out and away from home where I can just get things off my mind and it's been some time since I touched my camera and really brought it out to take some good photos

I want to do something new.

Do or Don't

Nothing Else In Between

2010-09-22T23:59:00.000+08:00

Nothing Last Forever

The team of POLITE is well, very much selected however they have not being confirmed position in the boats yet.They have enough people competing and reserves.I guess the senior batch is really big tt's why.

I was also disappointed that I had to go back to junior training and I couldn't perform at my best today.I was always first for every set.Today, i fall so back i was last.

That didn't bother me just yet,was really bothers me was I short changed myself.I tried so hard to push for 1st & felt like vomiting but mentally I gave up.The negativeness.

I tired so hard just now that I told myself I would only give up when I really vomit.

Went to see the doctor as I have not been well for more than a week,since before the nomad trip.I was getting better actually,but today's mentality just really made me ....I dunno what to say.Just useless.

Sometime we must fall real hard to realize that it's not the best and to want something more,

That is to beat ourselves at our very best,Only then it is enough.

Not this year,but the next

2010-09-21T22:21:00.000+08:00

Life is Like A Box Of Chocolate ....Like,Really!

Got home earlier than usual and just had some free time to clean up my area so I won't forget where I put my stuff.

I was freeier this time round to check the fridge and I found some pricey chocolates.

When there is no name labeled on the food means it's free to share=)

Could finally spend some time using my camera since I didn't have much to do.

There were so many varieties and just spoilt for choice that I didn't know where to start,ouh yah they only have one of each so it's a risk taking something you don't like then again you won't know till you tried.

This one taste like rose

This one looks really nice because of the colours but seriously it taste like some almond medcine

I forgot how this tasted like but it was really good!

Banana or dark chocolate I think.

I was wondering if it was a warning or a sign to dream about something before it actually happens or it is just something....

It's more than what we think...

2010-09-20T23:25:00.000+08:00

Like Finally!!After Some Time

Yesterday KaiSiang's mum came to Singapore to visit him because he was in the hospital and she was worried sick about him.Since she was in town and still remembered about us during the Thailand trip.She wanted us, the same people to have lunch with her and Ks at Hotel Shangrila,The Line!!

It's like damn ex luh!!!1person $70++

Here it goes...

Took some pictures after some time of not meeting up and cab our way there

The guys went straight for the raw stuff

I went straight for desserts first =) hehe..

Mel and me stuff ourselves full

We were trying to imitate Sx and rachel poses

After lunch we went to walk around in orchard

I'm gonna crash now

update soon on whatever I forgotten to for today

When will we meet again?

2010-09-19T22:55:00.000+08:00

Let Go Of Technology & In To The Wilderness

Away from my laptop,hand phone,family friends training and things i took so conveniently.

In a way I felt happy to get away from all these things which we got so used to because i don't want to be too dependent on them.Not gonna bother you much with the details let the pictures do all the talking.

It was just after our last paper and an 8hr bus ride and yes we spend most of the time sleeping in the bus.

Got to our staying area and get comfortable with the area

Had some fun and bonding time among ourselves since we couldn't sleep early that night.

Day 2

Activity for the day was caving and challenge course.

Didn't get to go through the river in the cave coz it was raining and the water level rise to high=(

This little guy finds refuge in my stinky shoes

Challenge course was interesting using the natural environment and trees around.

Day 3

Whole day would be a wet one!Waterfall abseil in the morning and white water rafting in the afternoon

Spend our last night with a nice debrief and played monopoly deal as it rained all night

Last day,headed home still sick and training awaits me the next day....

Many learning points about myself not because of the facilitators but the experience with the friends and activity itself.Who says you need to rara??

I'm so over doing camps...

2010-09-13T23:56:00.000+08:00

Catch A Falling Star

No matter what I do, I forget to forget about you.

....Whenever you fall, you'll know I'm always there to catch you.

Put it in you pocket, never let it fade away

2010-09-08T00:07:00.001+08:00

Last Minute

So many things has been going on lately that I decided not to jot it down yet until today.

This week has been the start of UT 3 the mark to end this semester and the coming of the start of the holidays(not so much for me) & hari raya which I don't feel so festive anymore like it used to=X.

So far Just did 2 papers,environmental education and land based both were do-able and probably could pull off a B.

My worry now would be the next 3 papers,Inclusive Physical Activity(IPA), Sports coaching and Sport sociology.Sociology being my weakest all about history of sports,racism in sports gender discrimination,how media affects sport and all really dry and boring.=(

Sport coaching another boring theoretical module,useful but boring.Teaches many ways of being a coach and the performance of an athlete to planning an annual training programme for an athlete.

Yesterday there were some rumours about or IPA test to be done on paper which cause a BIG HUUHAA among the School of Health and Leisure students(my School)

It's a big deal to all of us because not being able to use laptop means not spell check,dictionary,writing in ink,no back space and worst of all we can't refer to our notes.

So, finally today they confirmed that it would be done on laptop.phew!

Holidays are approaching really fast and after the last paper I'll be off straight to Malaysia for the Nomadic Trip,Ipoh.4 days of adventure missing 4 days of training because I feel that there is more than just training which is honestly awfully boring!!

But I'll have FUN!!!=)

These are some of the delayed photos during the YOG job made new friends and more cash to reimburse the dwindling amount in my bank account.

The everlasting amount of minute maid!!!

Gold medalist C boater =D

Singapore's canoeist Brandon,He's only 15!!!

The Spanish team!!Both silver medalist!

Recently I managed to catch up with my primary school friends which I failed to meet up with them a couple of times.This one too i nearly missed and was really late for dinner with them due to other commitments.

Bel's leaving to travel Europe for 4 months ALONE!!!That dinner was like a mini farewell to her.I might not be sending her off as she's leaving on Hari raya itself.Photo's not up yet of the meet up =(

So many things happening and many more to come...

Move along

2010-08-24T21:48:00.000+08:00

My Sunrise

Tomorrow's gonna be the last day I'm working for Coke in YOG at the Marina Reservoir.

Feels like it's very long but I only work for like only 8 days.Good pay,easy job.I have to endure the monotonous task of going through he same routine everyday waking up before the sunrise and go home when sunsets.It's just boring and so not me.

Can't complain much it's just temporary,earn the money and get out.It's enough to cover for my first aid course and trip to nomad in sep.It's just really tough earning money to support myself and thank god I'm not supporting myself fully.I'm just working for extra cash for things that I want and need.I'm not much of a spender myself I just feel the joy in saving=)

After tomorrow I'll be back in training full swing.

I know I don't get to see the sunrise everyday,

But I get to see the sunrise everyday on your face

Cover my eyes again......& make me guess

2010-08-20T00:22:00.001+08:00

19 & A Half

As much as we all want it, time will never stop for us

As the years goes by, when we grow, things that mattered to us then just didn't matter anymore.

We change,people change, the world changes.

The best things about a photo is that it never changes just the person in it does.

The best ones I keep are those I my mind for they would have to kill me to make me forget

Maybe that's the reason why I still hang on...

I believe in a little thing called Hope

2010-08-17T22:57:00.000+08:00

Meet You On The First Full Moon

I just can't help this feeling,I think about it everyday.

& I always walk away.

I've been on hiatus from training due to the youth Olympic games which I didn't expect to get the job because my plan was to train for POL-ITE and nothing else.Since this came along I might as well use it to the fullest.

Free drinks to bring home, canoe races to watch,mingling with international athletes and my off days just to catch up with people I hardly spend time with recently.

3 days of work and it feels like I have been working for more than a week already.I would have more than enough to cover for my this month overspending on the overseas trip and my certification.

Left with double digits in the bank when it was initially 4!!!!

I PROMISE myself that the money I earn will not be spent at all.Not a single dollar.

I want to go back training =)...

I want more than 24 hrs a day..

I want something sweet and sugary everyday =D

I want this sucky feeling to go away.

I can't fake it

2010-08-16T22:24:00.000+08:00

& Sometimes I Just Wonder Why..

It's like there no one else you can trust but yourself, or just selfish with it

I realized children never hide what they feel.

You can tell from the look of their face,you can hear it from their voice.They tell you honestly what's wrong.

Over the years being honest falls upon deaf ears and words like "Never mind,it's ok" and "Nothing"starts to be part of our lives.

I started realizing about this when my little cousin came over one day.

When I gave my Xbox away, his face was gleaming with joy and his hug showed how happy and thankful he was.

I couldn't express this feeling when someone give this little something that is just genuinely from the heart.

Just feels really good...

Have we grown to hide things from others so that they won't get hurt

& end up hurting ourselves instead.

There's always a little truth behind every "Just kidding"

& a little pain behind every "It's OK"

It's gonna be alright,I hope

2010-08-13T21:23:00.000+08:00

It Just Says It All

It's been an on going struggle with things around.

I can barely hang on

but I know I will never let this go.

Without you around it's just not the same

the smiles have gone

This part of me is surely fading away

I just can't do the things I could do...

2010-08-11T22:04:00.001+08:00

Fearless

Maybe if my heart stops beating it won't hurt this much,

& never will I have to answer to anyone..

I know I cannot be totally fearless of what may come my way but I want to fear lesser.

Recently,I'm just not sure of myself or the decisions I make if I did good or bad

It's really scary to face something you've not faced before,

It's even worst when you have to compete to be better than you yourself.

I know I'm not afraid to face the dark anymore,I'm just afraid that I'm stronger beyond control.

I guess there's this communication barrier between us despite me doing the best I could it's just not getting through to you.

I really don't know what else to do,maybe you were right.

I really lost that human touch.

You can put all the blame on me for all I care,I just need 1 thing from you and that is to listen and not hear me.

Countdown

2 days till holiday

30days till fasting is over

8 weeks till I meet my new class

11 weeks till POL-ITE

Just to see you again

2010-08-09T23:32:00.000+08:00

Like How Everything's A Test

Now I know where I stand it's time to work harder..I though I was good enough or just there.

I realized I'm not there yet,not even close.

Sometime it seems like it's just not worth doing anymore but I know that it is worth every single moment I am fighting for and I want something back.

Today's National day and the feeling is just not there....

I can't even be bothered to watch NDP on TV.National day songs are just getting suckier.Whatever happened to songs like "Home" & Where I belong?Those songs were really great and even my mum knows the lyrics without finding it from any websites,it was just easy to catch and nice to listen.

This nice place Kichn,Pronounced as Kitchen.Yea I know kinda nice place and concept similar to 18chefs and it really nice(Could do better with air-conditioning.)

The highlight about this places is u get to mix and match what you want to eat and drink.

Their special is lychee+ oreo+ chocolate,I haven't tried it yet but I got myself redbull,banana,lychee.NICE!

Last week of school now, and looks like I can't skip anymore lessons either because it is just fun to go or I skipped enough already and want to get my grades.

Holiday's starting and the whole holiday has already been planned out with trainings and fasting is just gonna make it even near impossible.

Will be involved for YOG for just 5 days just to get the money I spend on things I bough recently and a trip I paid myself with my own hard earned money.

Lastly it's been sometime now,....

Since you disappeared and yet to tell me why you left.

Just missed you having you to get me out of class just to have lunch with you.

Wherever you are take care,Naqia.

Where'd you go?

2010-08-05T23:41:00.000+08:00

Just This Feeling

This sense take control now when all my other senses are failing to notice my surroundings.

It like walking with eyes closed,but you know where everything is.

It's like covering your ears,but the beat of the heart tell you what people are saying.

It's like thinking,but you are in their head.

It's just this feeling, I have listen to it & every things gonna be fine.

If I don't I won't know what would happen,

Just something really bad I can't imagine.

It gets accurately correct day by day,for now...

For all those day that gone by,you never failed to be on my mind

Just to be that less Perfect